(Hema Stulberg, John Bidochka, Rory Mitchell, Gil Beck, Col Reid)               
Written by B.M.F.                                                               
(c) 1990 Crappy Music                                                           
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Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to                                     
The most popular B.M.F. concert                                                 
Tonight, twinkling his ivories and playing keyboards                            
Is Rory "Mr. Casio" Mitchell                                                    
And on the flaming aqua-blue guitar                                             
Is Sonya's Gil Beck, the sewer's friend                                         
Enjoy the show                                                                  
                                                                                
CHORUS:  B.M.F.                                                                 
         B.M.F.                                                                 
         B.M.F.                                                                 
         B.M.F.                                                                 
                                                                                
Beating the largest instrument, and skin                                        
Is J-Yawn Bi-di-bi-di.....that Ukrainian kid                                    
And on the four-stringed thing that nobody likes                                
Is Col "Sodhed"  "Mr. Colin"  "Clo"  Reid                                       
                                                                                
CHORUS                                                                          
                                                                                
And finally tonight, on the screaming                                           
Is me: Mister Asshole                                                           
                                                                                
CHORUS                                                                          
                                                                                
THE END