The weather and the clock  
 If your conversation calls for  
 A little more than a coffee pot  
 If you need to pour your heart out  
 And try to rectify some situation  
 That you're facing  
 Contact your American Honky Tonk Bar Association  
 When Uncle Sam dips in your pocket  
 Now for most things you don't mind  
 But when your dollar goes to all of those  
 Standing in a welfare line  
 Rejoice you have a voice  
 If you're concerned about the destination  
 Of this great nation  
 Contact your American Honky-Tonk Bar Association  
 We're talkin' about your  
 Hard hat, gunrack, achin'-back  
 Over taxed, flag-wavin', fun-lovin' crowd  
 They're heart is in the music  
 And they love to play it loud  
 There's no forms or applications  
 There's no red tape administrations  
 It's the American Honky-Tonk Bar Association  
 We're all one big family  
 Throughout the cities and the towns  
 We don't reach for handouts  
 we reach for those who are down  
 And every local chapter has a seven day a week  
 Available consultation  
 For your frustration  
 It's called the American Honky-Tonk Bar Association  
 We're talkin' about your  
 Mud flaps, six pack, beer crack  
 Over-taxed, flag-wavin', fun-lovin' crowd  
 They're heart is in the music  
 And they love to play it loud  
 There's no forms or no applications  
 There's no red tape administrations  
 It's the American Honky-Tonk Bar Association  
 Go join your American Honky-Tonk Bar Association  
 Do not delay  
 Contact today  
 Your AHBA  
 Your AHBA  
 Go join your American Honky-Tonk Bar Association