Hearin' people scream  
 Sittin' in the waiting room  
 Readin' crappy magazines  
 With a toothache  
 This is it, pal  
 Root canal  
 My molars are impacted  
 I'm gettin' gum disease  
 I'm gonna need some fillings  
 Got twelve cavities  
 Can you help me  
 Have mercy  
 Doctor, please  
  
 My teeth are a fright  
 Got a huge overbite  
 Numb me, drill me  
 Floss me, bill me  
  
 You jab at my nerve endings  
 It's driving me insane  
 Just give me nitrous oxide  
 Shoot me up with novocaine  
 Help me out here  
 'Cause I'm in severe  
 Pain  
 Please stop for a bit  
 Now let me rinse and spit  
 Numb me, drill me  
 Floss me, bill me  
  
 You validate my parking  
 I think that I'm okay  
 But you my one more appointment for  
 A week from Saturday  
 'Cause you came upon  
 A little problem on  
 My x-ray  
 Oy vey!  
  
 It's getting absurd  
 Well, I hope I'm insured, now  
 Numb me, drill me  
 Floss me, bill me