Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil  
 Since you've been gone  
 It's like I got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil  
 Oh well, I'm feelin' like I stuck my hand  
 Inside a blender and turned it on  
 You know, I've been in a buttload of pain  
 Since you've been gone  
 (Since you've been gone)  
 I couldn't feel any worse if you dropped  
 A two-ton bowling ball on my toes  
 (Since you've been gone)  
 It couldn't hurt anymore if you shoved  
 A red-hot cactus up my nose  
  
 Since you've been gone  
 Well, it feels like I'm getting tetanus shots every day  
 Since you've been gone  
 It's like I've got an ice cream headache that won't go away  
 Ever since the day you left me  
 I've been so miserable, my dear  
 I feel almost as bad as I did  
 When you were still here