Just don't feel like goin' to work - I think I'll call my boss, then I'm  
 Gonna hack and cough and wheeze  
 Swear I've got some strange disease  
 What's that little twerp gonna say?  
 Hey  
 I'm callin' in sick today  
 Callin' in sick today  
  
 I could shine my pennies or clean my lava lamp  
 I could spend all day in my underwear watching "Ernest Goes to Camp"  
 I could sit and count my hair  
 I could burp my Tupperware  
 I'm not busy now anyway  
 Hey  
  
 I'm callin' in sick today  
 Callin' in sick today  
 Ain't goin' to work, no way  
 Callin' in sick today  
  
 I can do anything I want to  
 I am invincible now  
 I'm on fire, baby  
 I'm alive, I'm alive, can you hear me, world?  
 I'm alive!  
  
 Maybe I'll spend all day staring at the sun  
 And trying not to squint  
 Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from  
 My belly button lint  
 When I'm sick of takin' abuse  
 I just make up some lame excuse  
 Freedom's just seven digits away  
 Hey  
  
 I'm callin' in sick today  
 Callin' in sick today  
 Ain't goin' to work, no way  
 Callin' in sick today