(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi  
  
 Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho  
  
 Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past  
 But most of'em were nudniks and none of'em would last  
 But ournew guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick  
 I tell ya, he's to die for - he really knows his shtick  
  
 So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew?  
 Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too  
 Working' like a dog at the synagogue  
 He's there all day, he's there all day  
 Just say "Vay is mir!" and he'll kick into gear  
 He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer  
 Just grab your yarmulka and  
 Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!  
  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)  
  
 He shops at discount stores, not just any will suffice  
 He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price  
 He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel  
 But if you wanna haggle, oy, he'll make you such a deal!  
  
 People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!"  
 He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off  
 Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul  
 What's not to like? What's not to like?  
 Oh high holy days, you know he prays and prays  
 And he never eats pastrami on white break with mayonnaise  
 Put on your yarmulka and  
 Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!  
  
 When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss  
 He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss  
 They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip  
 The parnets pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip!  
  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
 (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!  
  
 Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho  
  
 He's doin' well, I gotta kvell  
 The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell  
 Show up at his home, he says, "Shalom!"  
 And "Have some cake-You want some cake?"  
 Yeah he calls the shots, we really love him lots  
 Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz!  
 So grab your yarmulka--  
 The one you got for Chanukah--  
 Let's put on our yarmulkas and--  
 Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing